Omelette

I’ve been asked how I make an omelette.
Here you go.

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To the young @bonsai_evan

“Three eggs, beaten, but not like the stepson, just like the middle child. Then salt and pepper to taste.

In the pan, use more butter or margarine than you think.

Enough chopped ham to heart, and cook about 39-57 seconds. Just enough to make that poor pig’s mama sweat.

Add eggs and fold in that excess butter into the egg.
Omelet-ize it.
Let it set on the fire (by the way, if the fire isn’t on high, then have them make your omelette at Denny’s).
Keep jiggling it until the top undulates like a belly dancers belly, then add shredded cheese.

Let it warm up until the cheese is about melted, but still wet, then fold it onto the plate.
I prefer to fold it in half. If you’re fancy, fold it in thirds. But that’s just snobbery.

Farmhouse style for me.
Let sit for about the time it takes to wash the frying pan and make your coffee.

If you take your coffee black, firstly, you’re probably a psychopath, secondly, that means you know how to mask, so pretend you’re fixing coffee like us normals, with three spoons of sugar and some type of dairy.

Go to the table, use a fork you animal, and enjoy.

It should be brownish on the outside, but wet, almost like a cheesy, buttery, eggie sauce, on the inside.
You’re welcome.